Bad things in Belgrade

Posted 2006-11-05 02:35 under Culture , Off The Record by Viktor Marković / 22 comments

Winter is closing in on Belgrade and the blogging community is starting to feel a bit grumpy so i decided to join the band wagon and do a repost of the long lost “Bad things in Belgrade” list. You are free to add to the list or to disagree – i know there are a lot of generalizations there, and a lot of things that can be said for many other cities/countries as well, but don’t blame me, i only picked the stuff up from around the net as i saw them.

Here it goes, in random, almost alphabetical order:

1. Always different price for the same distance in a cab.
2. Bicycle path that’s not in very good condition – how expensive can it be to make it a bit more respectable?
3. Buss drivers racing eachother.
4. Cab drivers playing obnoxious music and smoking while you have to listen or try to rebel if you make an assesment that you can handle the discussion.
5. Cars parked in a way so you have to get around them. Belgrade generally has a huge parking problem – too many cars and too little space, particularly in the city center. In case of such a car, lift one of its winshield wipers in an upright position. Leaving an angry note is also considered a common way of expressing your dissatisfaction but you wont have the time for that, and its a great chance that the owner speaks only serbian so it won’t matter much to him. If you happen to have a knife, you can punctuate the tires or scratch the paint with a key.
6. Cars, trucks, busses, chariots parked in the middle of the busy street (especially Bulevar Revolucije and Vojvode Stepe).
7. Children who are without control and unatended, climbing other people, shouting, screaming and being generally irritating.
8. Dirty toilets seem to be trademarks of some cafes and restaurants. Everybody has given up on public restrooms a long time ago.
9. Dog doodoo all over the place. Nobody collects after their pets here, and even if the law would be enforced, it would probably be neglected.
10. Elections, when the whole city is a bilboard and the smiling faces of candidates look at you from everywhere – be prepared this December.
11. Enourmous holes in some streets in the center, and even more of those outside of center that don’t come from the bombing, but look like they do. They fix them fast, they appear even faster.
12. Even though the streets are being washed daily, its impossible for washers to keep up with those who litter. Those who litter the most, on the other hand complain that street washers are just too slow and lazy.
13. Expensive new cars and SUVs that don’t respect red traffic lights.
14. Getting a bubble gum instead of the change in a shop. A good trick is to collect those bubble gums and return them one day in exchange for… one bread, for example.
15. Grafitti that don’t make much sense. If you’re goning to destroy a wall, at least do it with style.
16. Hell for drivers and drivers from hell.
17. Improperly installed air-conditions that drip so you have to avoid being dripped on while walking about.
18. Jaywalkers with a deathwish.
19. Lazy and not-so-kind waiters. Least they can do is smile, least that you can do is not tip them.
20. Making traditional specialty «Sour cabbage» in the basement of a building. That way, everyone gets to enjoy the smell, not only those making it.
21. Underground passage in Zeleni Venac with all the sellers and buyers in it.
22. People getting into a buss before you go out.
23. People talking on a cell phone or fixing make-up while trying to park.
24. People who don’t use soap as much as they should (especially in public transportation).
25. People who terorize other people with their mobile phones: usually obnoxiously loud with idiotic conversations, or teenagers checking the melodies on their cell phone with full volume.
26. People who urinate in building entrances and haustors.
27. Rasists and xenophobes are not a majority of any country or city, but they usually make a lot of noise, so it seems there are more of them. And thats irritating.
28. Rebuilding, upbuilding, sub-building and all kinds of «art» works on an existing object without style, taste, persmission and regularly not adequate with the environment nor surroundings. Usually these works require a big chunk of sidewalk for keeping concrete, sand, wires and other construction material.
29. Roads and streets under construction for all eternity.
30. Senior citizens – old enough to be consideres endangered species, but strong enough to fight for the best strategic position before the buss stops at the station so they can enter first.
31. Some people hate stray dogs, others hate non-humane ways of taking them off the streets. In any way, stray dogs can represent a problem when your riding a bicycle.
32. Spitting on the streets, usually like its a kind of olympic sport.
33. Strahinica Bana Street can be irritating, not only to those who live in that street, but to the passers-by. If you’re interested what values are appreciated in Belgrade these days, take a walk down this street in a warm evening.
34. Taking roasted pigs, lambs or similar stuff with you in any kind of public transportation won’t get you any friends.
35. Changing names of the streets is equally irritating for locals as it is for you.
36. Taxi drivers who don’t know to find your destination.
37. Taxi drivers who tune their taxi meters so that they run faster, ergo making your wallet thinner don’t try thier luck only on foreigners, but on locals too. The solution is to be stronger than the taxi driver or to ask for the bill with the vehicle number and company name and to try and report the driver if you feel you’ve been had.
38. Taxi vehicles falling apart while you’re riding them.
39. The train station and the area around it are some of the worst in Belgrade. This could be the place of your first sight of Belgrade, because a lot of foreigners come to Belgrade by train. Don’t be frightened, it’s not all like that.
40. Trash being left by the dumpster, not in the dumpster.
41. Trash dumpsters on fire and people who set trash dumpters on fire.
42. Trying to throw in the trash in a dumpster without getting out of a building or room.
43. Unkind clerks, salesmen, and all kinds of unkind people.
44. Using a car horn in every possible ocassion, like that is going to improve the situation.

Frankly, i don’t know what to do with the list once it’s finished (will it ever be finished?) so if you have any clever suggestions just shoot. Should i mail it to someone?
I also noticed that a lot of these problems are related directly to people. I assume that people make cities what they are. Luckily i think that the ‘love list’ is much longer than the ‘hate list’. I’ll start making it as soon as it gets warmer – you guys are free to start even earlier if you feel like it.

22 Comments

Comment

1. Cvijus on 05/11/06 12:16 PM

   It seems you have never been in Sofia and Athens :) After these two cities, Belgrade is not so bad after all. Btw, it has been years since the last time a got chewing gums for change, instead of money, and that was in Montenegro.
   I like this “Hell for drivers, drivers from hell”.
   And the spitting on the streets as an olympic sport, well at least it’s not like in Magdeburg where we have throwing up in the streets as an Olympic sport. After every weekenf you have to bevare where you step.
   Come on, it isn’t that bad in Belgrade. More or less every big city in southern Europe is like that.

2. Viktor on 05/11/06 01:46 PM

   Yes, like i said, there are worse cities than Belgrade, but since this is a local-patriotic blog, my focus with this post is purely on Belgrade – both when it comes to good and bad things.
   Btw, your last two sentences are contradictions ;)

3. Estavisti on 05/11/06 02:47 PM

   Why do people set kontejneri on fire? It’s something I’ve never understood, despite the fact that you’ll come across a kontejner with smoke wafting out of it practically every day…

4. serbianmess on 05/11/06 05:40 PM

   > 3. Buss drivers racing each other.

   Only if you are in the slower bus! :)
   My 2 cents:
   1. The fact that it takes people ten years to paint over a swastika on a wall of their building, but they’ll paint over a witty anti-nationalist graffiti in 6 hours.
   2. Renaming of streets such as Bulevar mira (Boulevard of peace).... (peace is a communist concept or something?)
   3. Cops who ID me three times a week, but were nowhere to be found when I got mugged.
   4. Parks which are left without any trees.
   5. Fucking wind.

   But that’s least of it. Yesterday, I was waiting in a rather long line in Maxi supermarket, after having the worst day in the last year or so, and a lady got behind me, asked me to put her basket down and that she’ll be back in a second. After 15 minutes (of not standing in line and shopping, while us stupid people did our shopping first, then went to checkout), she came back into the line as if she has done nothing wrong. Why oh why Tesla never made that death ray?

5. Cvijus on 05/11/06 11:41 PM

   Thx for the correction Victor. What I wanted to say is that more or less every bigger city in southern Europe is like Belgrade, or worse :) when it comes to these issues.
   Oh, please add to the hate list the people working in traffics (trafikanti/tkinje). You have to bloody beg them in order to get a service, not to mention how they behave when you interupt them when they’re talking on the telephones. Makes you wanna set a fire on the traffics and not in the containers.

6. John on 06/11/06 10:45 AM

   LOL! I got a good laugh from this. After a few moments of thought, I realized the “bad things” are not so different than a lot cities I’ve been to. Although some cities do have safer roads than others.

   Thanks,
   John

7. Eric on 06/11/06 12:39 PM

   Maybe I can say a word in defence of BG cab drivers. Although I have run into a few (a very few) who fit the description in the post, I have also met a whole lot with whom I have had interesting conversations, and several (it’s true!) who have set me on the path to some really good music, including some of he hidden gems of the local radio offerings. One rule, though: never ride in an expensive car.

8. Beppe on 06/11/06 03:24 PM

   - An horrible smell into the telephone cabs in central post office – Buildings very dirty for pollution and neglectness (with the same plaster of 30 years ago) – Policemen more eager to give you a fine (mainly if u are stranger) than to avoid the collapse of traffic
   Small faults for a beautiful city! ;)

9. Vladimir on 06/11/06 03:51 PM

   My negative favourite is number 44!
   Using the horn in every (im)possible situation is the most annoying
   habit of belgrader citizens.
   Coming back from Berlin to my hometown, it is by far the first point that makes me made and sad the same time!

10. Richard on 06/11/06 04:40 PM

    Just visited Belgrade for the 5th time since 2001. I walked to the Sajam for the book fair along the bicycle path (#2), so I agree with you that it’s really fallen on hard times since I rode to Brodic every day in summer 2002. I also strongly agree about the Zeleni venac pedestrian tunnel. One thinks it cannot get worse, and then… it does.
    My experience with Belgrade cab drivers has been excellent, however. Unlike elsewhere in SE Europe. For instance, Zagreb, where a cab driver tried to take me and my luggage (too heavy to walk with) from the bus station to the train station via the Dinamo Zagreb stadium.

11. Marija on 06/11/06 10:06 PM

    OK, then, are we hitting the road together on Saturday?
    Any news on the mini wan? In case we try to avoid the cabbies from the Dinamo stadium :)

12. Shaina on 07/11/06 02:40 AM

    The one about different cab prices for the same distance is one I can certainly identify with; and it is one which is not limited to Belgrade either!

13. Owen on 07/11/06 05:31 PM

    Don’t tell me Belgrade has cyclists who actually keep to the road? There was a proposal a while back that the car driver would automatically be held responsible for any accident involving a car and a cycle whatever the circumstances. The late great Linda Smith said that she initially she didn’t think that was very fair but then after rethinking she thought it probably was reasonable as if a driver had hit a cyclist in London he’d almost have certainly been driving on the pavement himself.

14. Viktor on 08/11/06 01:48 AM

    Wow, so many comments :) Hope there’ll be at least this many when we make a good things list.

    Owen, since we aint got no bicycle paths throughout the city, they often have to keep to the road.

    Shaina, cabbies seem to be the same no matter if you are in Norway or in India. It’s almost like a religion.

    Marija, everything is arranged :)

    Richard, glad you had nice experiences with cabbies. Yes, like Eric said, they can be source of many good hidden things and insider stories.

    Vladimir, i know what you’re saying. Horns can be a bitch.

    Beppe, as a passionate traffic fines collector, that thing annoys me as well and i tend to point it out to pollicemen, with weak results though.

    Serbianmess and Cvijus, thanks for adding to the list! I have a new idea – to place the list in a container and send it to space :) seems as usefull as anything else we can do with it.

    Estavisti, there will come a time when kontejneri will set people on fire and only then will the people realise what a tragic mistake they made :)

    John, glad the list made you laugh – maybe that’s the only positive thing we can get out of it :)

15. richard on 08/11/06 04:21 PM

    >>There will come a time when kontejneri will set people on fire and only then will the people realise what a tragic mistake they made :)

16. bganon on 09/11/06 06:16 PM

    Hmm obviously my comments got lost in cyberspace – maybe its just as well, I was in a rather intolerant mood.

17. Viktor on 09/11/06 07:54 PM

    C’mon Bganon, i was waiting for your comment – try to post it again when you find the time.

18. John on 10/11/06 01:47 PM

    Yea, I’ve been waiting for a reply from Bganon too!

19. Sergey Markoff on 11/11/06 12:46 AM

    How can y forgot the BEOVOZ and it’s timetable, as well as the busses which have one line number wroted on the front, and one other on the side? :)

20. Kim H on 12/11/06 10:38 AM

    What a brilliant list! Come to Tirana and we’ll add to the list :)

21. Estavisti on 14/11/06 01:52 AM

    You all missed the best/worst thing – Vukov Spomenik metro station. The /only/ metro station :)

22. bganon on 14/11/06 06:45 PM

    OK people that smell of dried meat or garlic on public transport.
    People that talk crap loudly, again on public transport. I’m so interested in what they have to say that it was a factor in the purchase of my MP3 Player!
    The equalisation of pedestrians and motorists. They are not equal – a motorist is a serious danger to a pedestrian the latter is a lesser danger to a motorist. Cars which pollute.
    Moronic journalists that buy into this equalisation.
    Morons that cant drive and dont know what the hand brake is for – check it out, at least 70 percent of car drivers in Belgrade sway back and forwards using the clutch causing a risk of collision with cars in front and behind and to pedestrians.

    Uneven sidewalks, or pavement. I actually fell over a week ago and am still nursing injuries to my arm and knee. No, not in the outskirts of Belgrade, right in the heart of town.

    There are more but there are lots of good things too… As I say one has to be intolerant mood